Worlds of Pain
by freifraufischer
Summary: BroTP Snow Queen. Short fic. Set post 3.04 in Neverland. Snow and Regina talk about Snow's experience of Regina's torture.


_A/N: Written as a tumblr prompt: __a conversation where Snow talks to Regina about the electrocution and what she felt because of the potion/spell._

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><p>Snow watched Regina sleeping for most of the night. It was her turn on watch, so with her bow within reach she poked at the camp fire and tried not to think too hard about the dangerous of the jungle around them-while still being alert to them. But really what she kept thinking about was Regina.<p>

When she was a little girl, on terrible nights when the storms battered the castle, she used to crawl into Regina's bed with her. Looking back on it, she wasn't sure what to make of those nights. She felt safe. Secure. Like Regina would protect her from anything in the world. It turned out what she needed protection from was Regina. Either way this was not the first time she'd seen Regina sleep. Tense, arms folded like she was guarding herself from the world. She'd slept like that when she was the queen too.

Though who was Snow kidding, she'd always be the queen.

Every so often Regina would twitch. There would be an almost inhuman half strangled nose from her and she'd fall back to bed. Snow could guess what she was dreaming about. Snow had those dreams too when she got to sleep. She was tempted to wake Regina to break her out of the nightmare, but she was afraid that her stepmother might drop any moment on their journey if she didn't get more sleep. Regina was stubborn. She'd go until she couldn't. She'd stand until she fell.

After a few hours Regina did wake on her own. She managed to brush out her hair with a wave of her fingers which may or may not have been magic and put on her blazer looking like she was expecting a town meeting in the middle of the jungle.

"Get some sleep Mary Margaret, I'll take the watch."

"It's still my watch. You should get more rest."

Regina gave her a look, but said nothing and sat down on a rock facing the fire. They could sit in silence for the next few hours. Maybe she'd go back to sleep if they did.

"Every time I shut my eyes I dream about the pain." Snow finally managed to say. All her anger at Regina was still there. All the past pain. Everything that made her want to protect Emma and David from this corrosive woman.

"What?"

"When we couldn't find you we went to Gold. He gave us a potion, one of your tears, and one of mine..."

Regina made a noise of recognition. "Ah, so that's how you showed up. I... really wasn't in the shape to figure that out at the time." She tilted her head. "And it's not that surprising Rumple has my tears in stock. He's had enough opportunities to collect them."

"I've never felt pain like that before in my life Regina. And I wasn't even feeling it for that long. I don't understand how you are still functioning."

"I have to. For Henry."

"I know... but ..."

"It's not the worst pain I've felt in my life." Regina absently put her hand up to touch the small scar left after the Blue Fairy healed her. "Displeasing my mother would have been about as bad."

Snow blinked. "Are you serious?"

Regina seemed to debate answering. "If I told you yes, would you have felt justified for murdering her?"

Snow was silent. That wound still raw. And they both lapsed into it again as Regina push on when her question was unanswered. It was perhaps twenty minutes before either of them spoke. "Really? You've felt pain worse than that?"

Regina looked up, and considered her answer. "That was bad. I thought I was going to die. With mother and Rumple I never thought I was going to die. I wanted to. But they needed me too much to let their pet project go. So it wasn't so much the pain as it was the despair. And really, I deserved it."

"What? Regina.."

"Don't give me some trite platitude about love, Snow. I've never lived in a world where love mattered. Except Henry. My world is full of pain and hurt. But... but I brought that world to that boy's life and I had no right. I made him a monster. I might hate him but I made him. He had a right to his revenge."

"You don't believe that..."

Regina smiled. "You've convinced yourself you understand me. You have since you were ten years old. Has it ever occurred to you that you never did? And by the sounds of it now, never will?"

Regina was getting up from her seat. "I should try and rest some more if you are going to insist on staying up.

"I can't sleep because of the dreams."

Regina gave a slight, knowing smile, "My dreams are always about pain. This is just the latest flavor."


End file.
